Monday, February 28, 2011

Rock and Roll - The Louder the Better?

Thanks to OSHA millions of workers in industries across the country are able to earn a living without fear of workplace conditions leading to disabilities such as black lung, carpal tunnel, and hearing loss.  Fortunately for those who yearn for the life debilitating injuries of days gone by there is ... the rock concert. 

Heather and I attended one of these feasts of loud music and light shows yesterday, and I'm afraid I'm showing my age.  While others excitingly jumped up and down, or put their hands up in the air, waving them around as if they just didn't care, I was straining through my earplugs to try and discern the actual lyrics. 

If you've never attended a concert past the age of 30, either because you outgrew that phase of your life, or because you are still enjoying the youthful bliss of ignorance, it is not the same experience as you grow older.  To give you a feel of what this is like, think of one of those cars that pull up next to yours at a stoplight and rattle your windows with their subwoofers.  Now, imagine what it would be like if you were a mouse and you fell into the trunk of said car.  Now pretend you are surrounded by 10,000 other mice, who think this is nirvana (the experience, not the band.  That dream is similar but has an even more traumatic ending that coincides with the car backfiring.)

I concede that I should have known better.  I love music, but not seizure inducing light shows, pyrotechnic propelled streamers and heart rattling bass.  (Ok, I have to admit the streamers were actually kind of cool.)  I prefer to be able to hear the individual notes of the singer and all the instruments blending together during the song, and something other than tinnitus afterwards.

Even though the price of concessions were so high that I felt a compulsion to swab my wallet for DNA samples after paying, and even though I felt like an old geezer as I vainly squeezed my ears trying to save my chochlia from disintegrating, it was fun going out with Heather, and as a bonus I found a new use for my iPod Touch.  Since lighters are so 20th Century, we all wave handheld devices now.  At least these kids won't be getting lung cancer from smoking when they're in their 50's, although their hearing will be gone.