Sunday, December 16, 2012

It's Like Secret Deodorant, For my Feet

When I was a kid I used to get a new pair of house shoes every year.  They all looked the same, except for being slightly larger to accommodate my growing feet.  The inside was a pale yellow fleece, while the exterior was a manila envelope brown vinyl.  I have terrible circulation in my feet, despite having veins there as large as some people have leading into their hearts.  Because of this my slippers were always on my feet, and since I only got one pair a year at Christmas, I had to make them last.

It didn't take long for the fleece to get matted to a nearly flat constitution, and eventually my big toes would work a hole in the bottoms of the soles.  The fact that the soles were made of the same thin vinyl as the rest of the shoe probably didn't help their longevity, but this was easily fixed with a couple of pieces of duct tape.  Before Christmas came around I would have some duct tape on the bottom of the heel as well.  Sure it looked ghetto, but it worked.  As a bonus, they didn't increase the friction of the shoes, so I could still run full speed and slide around corners in the house, which I'm sure my mom appreciated.

For years Heather would have to make an annual trek to Kmart, to get the modern version of my childhood house shoes, as they were the only place to find them.  This was an absolute act of love, as Heather hates Kmart, with a hatred as deep as the hate between cats and dogs.  Over the years the color had gotten darker brown, but not much else had changed.  I really don't like the moccasin shoes with the heavy sole, or any slippers that seem to be designed to allow me to wear them for a walk around the block.  I want them light, warm, and flexible.  So I was dismayed when even Kmart stopped carrying my favorite house shoes.  In hindsight, I should have bought a lifetime supply, but how was I to know?

Last year Heather found a semi-suitable substitute at Walmart, but I couldn't help but look longingly at her purple slippers, that have an exterior which is like shag carpeting, and which terminates just above her ankle.  The interior is super soft and warm, and the sole is thin and pliable.  So when I found a similar pair at the store, except in blue (they look like someone killed Cookie Monster and made slippers from his hide), I was intrigued by the thought...could my feet fit into a women's extra large?

The answer, if you're curious, is heck yeah!  My feet now luxuriate in some awesome house slippers as I traipse around the house.  I love my house shoes, no matter what gender they were designed for. They may not fit in with my den covered in deer heads and stuffed water fowl, but then, I don't have one of those, so that's ok.  And they aren't so overtly feminine that I feel like I should be wearing them with pink leotards or something.  Besides, who would wear pink leotards these days?